Monday, October 27, 2008

Ren and Jerry


After I got fired from a job as a live in "farm hand" I crashed on my friend Marco's couch for a month or so. Ren and Jerry, the upstairs neighbors, were one of those cute couples who are so in love it makes you want to borrow a cup of sugar from them and pour it in their gas tank. The worst thing about them is that they couldn't stop talking about how great Netflix is. One night I was coming up the front walk and saw Ren putting the movie they just watched in the mail box. She told me I just had to see it, so I waited until she went in and took it out of their mail box and watched it. It was that movie Sideways, and it Sucked so bad that I broke the disk into small pieces and shoved them back into the envelope and put it in the mail. The next night I was still mad at how much that movie sucked so I put thier next disk in the microwave before putting it back in the mail. Then I started going to get the movies from their box before they could watch them and destroying the disks. After a week or two of this I got careless and carved my real name in the bottom of a disk with a safety pin. Ren hit me with a bundt pan and Jerry let me know, in no uncertain terms, that not only was the shit I did a felony, but that I was a bigger asshole than both the guys in Sideways combined. Ouch.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Jeff and Tim


These poor guys. My car had broken down on the side of the road and they pulled over to help me. They popped their trunk to get out their dad's tool box (which I swiped this photo out of) to help me replace a spark plug that had popped out of the engine block, but amazingly enough had stayed stuck into the spark plug wire. As they were grabbing the tools, I took a peak in the trunk and saw that they had just bought the brand new PlayStation 2 and a shit load of games. I wrenched on the car for a minute and it started right up. I thanked the guys and told them to hop in their car and I'd take care of putting the tools back, as it was the least I could do. I tossed the bag with the PlayStation and games into a bush and walked back up and thanked them again. I can't say for sure, but that might have been the saddest night those young nerds will even know.