Wednesday, May 16, 2007
I stole $500 bucks from my grandfather when I was 14. He could never prove it, and I never admitted it, but he knew. This picture was taken at his 70th wedding anniversary. It was about five minutes later when my sister's kid popped a balloon behind him that he pissed himself. I happened to be standing right in front of him when he did and immediately started laughing and screaming that Grandpa Irv wet his pants. He slapped me across the face and told me, "You are for shit! You stole my Liberty Dollars and everyone knows what a shit you are, you shit!" In an attempt to haunt me from beyond the grave, he stipulated in his will that I should inherit his colon. I was actually kind of jazzed about the idea, but apparently there are laws against that kind of thing.